Foster a balanced work-life mindset through volunteering: The power of giving back
by Emmanuelle Luba, Global Channel Marketing Lead, LND Consulting Services
The pressure to succeed can be overwhelming, especially when our definition of success is shaped by external influences such as upbringing, environment, personal experiences, and personality. Growing up, I was taught that failure was not an option and that success, or rather overachievement, was the key to happiness and fulfillment.
Do you feel the pressure of succeeding?
The weight of the expectation to perform well was a constant and heavy burden that both my sibling and I carried throughout our upbringing. We were acutely aware of the high standards set for us, and a considerable fear of failure often overshadowed this awareness. The anxiety that accompanied this fear was a driving force in our lives, influencing our decisions and shaping our ambitions.
Amid this pressure, I made a bold choice that would alter the course of my career: I defied my father's wishes for me to pursue a legal career. Instead, I opted to explore the vast opportunities available within the technology industry. This decision was not just a rejection of his aspirations; it was an affirmation of my desire to forge my path and engage with a field that excited and inspired me.
Furthermore, having pursued a career in the male-dominated Tech industry, where few people of color achieve recognition, I felt an even stronger obligation to work diligently and differentiate myself through my accomplishments. The challenges I faced were not just personal hurdles; they were emblematic of a broader struggle for representation and equity in a field that desperately needed diverse voices.
This mindset led me to believe that sacrificing aspects of my personal life was a necessary trade-off to reach my goals.
However, as I navigated through life, I started to realize that true success encompasses a balance between professional achievements and personal well-being. Today, with two decades of experience as a SaaS Marketer, I strongly feel the importance of redefining success on my terms and prioritizing what truly matters to me. Here’s my journey to my revised version of “true success”
What do you want to be remembered for?
Years ago, when my mother passed away, I wrote her obituary and started wondering about my legacy. My mother, a dedicated nurse known for her kindness and selflessness, had touched many lives.
Listening to family members share their memories of her revealed how much she had impacted others with her compassion.
The testimonials did not end there; they painted a vivid picture of resilience and compassion: following my father's death ten years ago, she chose to have my grandmother, his mother, live with her until she too passed away three years later.
This reflection poignantly highlighted that success is not solely defined by professional milestones but also by the meaningful contributions one makes to the lives of others. It was a significant revelation. The relentless pursuit of accolades often overshadowed the importance of nurturing relationships and fostering community.
After her funeral, I considered launching an initiative to help orphans in Africa, but I soon got caught up in the demands of work, marriage, and children. My career as a Channel Marketing professional in the tech industry and my roles as a mother and wife left me little time to pursue this idea.
Instead, I kept pushing myself to exhaustion, always striving to overperform and succeed at work and home.
Throughout the years, I was forced to take a vacation due to extreme fatigue, I initially felt overwhelmed by self-loathing and a sense of failure. Yet, as the days passed, I began to reflect on the question that had been on my mind since my mother's funeral a few years before: What type of legacy do I want to leave for my children?
It became clear to me that professional accolades alone were not enough. My daughter, Tegra, wouldn’t remember me for the Marketing Impact award I had won, but for the values I imparted and the love I shared, right?
During this period of introspection and forced rest, my husband and I revisited our long-standing discussions about adoption. However, the thought of adopting just one or two children while so many others remained in need didn’t seem enough. This realization led to the birth of Agapé International, a French-registered charity dedicated to helping orphans and widows in French-speaking Africa.
The COVID-19 pandemic, despite its challenges, provided me with the time and space to develop this project. Our apartment quickly transformed into a depot as we collected second-hand clothes, toys, and books to provide for the children we wanted to help. I built a plan, created partnerships with local NGOs and orphanages, and laid the groundwork for what Agapé International would become.
In April 2021, I boarded one of the first flights allowed out of Paris to Abidjan, Ivory Coast. Witnessing the sheer poverty and hearing the heart-wrenching stories of abuse faced by children and widows was eye-opening. Although I had seen poverty growing up in Africa, the direct encounters with these individuals and their gratitude for our assistance were profoundly different and deeply moving.
Agapé International has given me a renewed sense of purpose. It has made me more appreciative of what I have and motivated me to invest more in helping others. I am proud to have communicated this passion to those around me, starting with my children, and inspiring them to join in the mission.
Shifting your priorities and getting truly fulfilled:
This experience has also helped reset my perspective and review my priorities. While I still love my job, I learned to set boundaries, to listen to my body, and above all I realized that any success at work should not be defined by what others say about me but foremost how I felt about myself.
In organizing activities and events for Agapé, I've witnessed the positive effects of our work on children's education and the well-being of widows. This experience has allowed me to redirect some of the energy I was excessively investing in my job towards Agapé. I've gained a deeper appreciation for the biblical principle that highlights the joy of giving over receiving, recognizing that my contributions are making a genuine difference.
Volunteering has taught me to prioritize my personal needs and relationships alongside my professional ambitions. The relentless drive to succeed can often lead to feelings of inadequacy and loneliness, but helping others has shown me that true success encompasses both professional achievements and the positive impact one has on others' lives. It has also shown me to feel more self-compassion.
Bring the “giving back” mindset to your workplace:
In the professional realm, I have extended the meaning of helping others by sharing my experiences, failures, and successes through mentoring. My other passion is mentoring up-and-coming women early in their careers
Advocating for women in tech, promoting diversity, and supporting early starters in their careers has become a passion of mine. I want to ensure that my legacy is not only one of professional success but also one of compassion, kindness, and a commitment to helping others.
Empower yourself by giving back to others is a powerful approach to personal growth and fulfilment. When you help others, you not only make a positive impact on their lives but also gain a sense of purpose and satisfaction. This act of giving can take many forms, such as volunteering, mentoring, or simply offering support to those in need.
This is not about adding another line item on your “to do list” but it’s about finding the perfect balance about being fulfilled by your career, while prioritizing self care, setting boundaries, and making time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Mind you, finding that harmony will require some time and adjustment, but the end result is priceless: benefiting yourself and those around you.
In summary, volunteering transforms someone’s perspective on work and life. It reestablishes a healthy work-life balance and reassesses priorities. It will give you a new sense of purpose and fulfillment, comparable to no other, that you will be proud to pass on to the next generation.
Volunteering isn't just about traveling far away to lend a hand. With the holiday season approaching, there are plenty of folks right in our own communities who could use some help. Young women in tech are looking for mentors, and there are countless ways to make a difference. It’s really less about the specific charity or project and more about finding something that brings you a sense of purpose, helps you maintain balance in life, and boosts your mental well-being.
I aspire for my legacy to encompass more than just professional accomplishments; I wish to be remembered for my compassion, kindness, and the ways I've made a difference in the lives of others. How about you?
Bio: I am a seasoned professional in the cybersecurity industry, boasting close to two decades of experience as a Senior Global Channel and Field Marketing Leader. I am also passionate about greater diversity and inclusion in the tech sector. For the past three years, I have dedicated myself to mentoring women in tech, both as a volunteer and through professional services. My most recent endeavor was mentoring two groups of women through the Women4Cyber Foundation, an experience that proved immensely rewarding.