The Most Dangerous Words I’ve Ever Said

“I’ll never do that.” 

I’ve said those words more times than I can count. 

I’ll never join the Army. 

I’ll never run a marathon. 

I’ll never jump out of a perfectly good airplane. 

I’ll never ride a roller coaster. 

I’ll never be a photographer. 

I’ll never stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people. 

Yet somehow, many of the experiences that have shaped me began with those exact words. 

For years, I thought “I’ll never do that” was a declaration. A line in the sand. A clear statement about who I was and what I wanted. 

Now I realize it was usually something else. 

Fear. 

Uncertainty. 

A lack of confidence. 

Or simply the fact that I wasn’t ready yet. 

When I was younger, joining the Army wasn’t part of my plan. Then one day it was. Six years later, I had experiences that would shape my discipline, resilience, and leadership for the rest of my life. 

At 39, I decided to run a marathon after years of believing that was something other people did. Not only did I finish, but I achieved the goal I had set for myself. Along the way, I learned that our limits are often negotiated long before we ever reach them physically. 

When I turned 50, I went skydiving. 

To be clear, I don’t like heights. 

I wasn’t secretly dreaming of jumping out of airplanes. 

But I had reached a point in life where I was becoming more interested in discovering what I was capable of than protecting myself from discomfort. 

The jump lasted minutes. 

The lesson has stayed with me for years. 

More recently, I found myself facing another “I’ll never do that” moment with my girls. 

For most of my life, roller coasters were an easy no (happily volunteering to hold everyone’s bags while they rode). I had convinced myself they just weren’t for me. 

Then, standing there with my daughters, I decided to get on anyway. 

Was it comfortable? Not even close. 

Was it as bad as I had imagined? Not at all. 

What I remember most isn’t the ride itself. It’s sharing the experience with them and realizing that sometimes the things we avoid for years lose their power the moment we finally face them. 

I’ve learned that growth often hides behind the things we resist. The opportunities that stretch us. The challenges that make us uncomfortable. The experiences that seem completely unlike us—until suddenly they’re not. 

As leaders, parents, spouses, and professionals, we spend a lot of time defining ourselves. 

I’m this kind of person. 

I’m not that kind of person. 

I can do this. 

I could never do that. 

But life has a funny way of introducing us to versions of ourselves we haven’t met yet. 

The older I get, the less interested I am in protecting an outdated version of who I think I am. 

And the more interested I am in discovering who I might become. 

So now, whenever I catch myself saying, “I’ll never do that,” I pause. 

Because history has taught me something important. 

Those might just be the first words of my next great adventure. 

And if experience has taught me anything, it’s that the things I’m most certain I’ll never do often deserve a second look. 

After all, every story I’ve shared here started the same way.