Mastering the Message - Writing Emails That Are Clear, Kind, and Confident

Published on July 2, 2025

By Jacquie Rives, WOTC Community Leader & Program Director, The Channel Company 

Let me start with a confession: I’ve been told my emails are a little… blunt. As someone who prides herself on being efficient, respectful of people’s time, and clear in her communication, this feedback stung at first. But it also made me pause. 

We all have experienced tone that doesn’t travel well through text. What feels “direct” to me might feel abrupt or cold to someone else. In a world where much of our communication happens via email, Slack, Teams, or text, the way we say things matters just as much as what we say. So, I’ve been on a journey to sharpen my written communication skills without losing my voice — and I want to share a few lessons I’ve learned along the way. 

✉️ Read it out loud — then read it as the other person 
Try not to rush through your responses - before hitting send, I’ve started reading my emails twice: once in my voice, then in theirs. Would I want to receive this message? Does it sound respectful, collaborative, and considerate of context? 
  • A simple line like: “I need this by Friday.”
  • Might land softer as: “Would it be possible to have this by Friday? Let me know if that timeline works for you.”
  • You're still being clear — just more inviting. 
🧠 Add warmth without adding fluff
You don’t have to sacrifice clarity to be kind. Try these tone-boosters:
  • Start with a greeting and a human touch: “Hope your week is going well.” or “Thanks again for your work on this.”
  • Use softening language: “Just a quick note,” “When you have a moment,” “Would you mind…” 

That said, don’t bury your ask. Clarity is kindness, too. The trick is striking that balance.  

🪞Spot the “cold” signals 
If your email only includes bullets, directives, or questions, it might feel transactional — even if that’s not your intent. Look for these red flags:
  • No greeting or sign-off
  • Overuse of periods vs. exclamation points or emojis (where appropriate)
  • Short, clipped sentences with no transitions 

Try asking yourself: Does this message show I respect their time and their humanity? 

🧩 Match tone to relationship and context 
Not every email needs a warm-up paragraph. If you're mid-project with a close colleague, you can be shorter. But if you're giving feedback, working across departments, or emailing up the chain, consider dialing up the empathy. 

One tip I love: imagine you're standing in front of the person. Would you speak this way to them face-to-face? If not, tweak it. 

🤖 Let AI be your communication coach 
Sometimes we’re just too close to our own words to catch tone issues — and that’s where AI can step in as a helpful editor. Whether you're unsure if your email sounds too sharp or you want to make sure it’s landing the right way, tools like ChatGPT or email plug-ins like Microsoft Co-Pilot or Grammarly can be your secret weapon. 
 

Here’s how to use AI to sharpen your message:

  • Tone Check: Ask: “Does this email sound too direct or harsh?” or “Can you make this email warmer and collaborative?” You'll get thoughtful suggestions to soften without sacrificing clarity. 
  • Rephrasing Ideas: Give the AI your bullet points or rough draft and ask it to rewrite in a tone that’s professional, empathetic, or even enthusiastic — depending on the context.
  • Role Play Feedback: Ask the AI to read the message as if they’re the recipient and provide feedback on how it might be perceived
  • Polish Under Pressure: When you’re writing late at night, in a rush, or emotionally charged — AI can help take the edge off and ensure you’re leading with intention, not reaction. 

Just remember: AI is a tool, not a crutch. Your voice, experience, and values should always take the lead. Having a smart assistant who never tires of fine-tuning tone – well, that’s a game-changer. 

👥 When in doubt, default to grace 
Sometimes people are juggling more than we know. A little grace goes a long way. Assume positive intent when reading others’ messages, and give the same in yours. Small choices — like saying “Just following up on this — let me know what you need from me to move it forward” instead of “Reminder: I’m waiting on this” — can shift the dynamic from demand to partnership. 
 
💡Final thoughts:
Clear. Kind. Confident. That’s the trio I aim for now. It doesn’t mean padding every message with fluff — it just means remembering that on the other end of the screen is a person, not just a task. If you’ve ever been told your tone is too direct, know that it’s not about changing who you are — it’s about helping your message land the way you intend it to. And that’s a powerful skill. 
 
BONUS: 📬 AI for Email Tone: Prompt Card 
I made a printable prompt card that includes quick prompts to fine-tune your message using AI tools attached for myself that I am sharing with you to download and print if you find it helpful.  

 

Bio: A little about me: I have been a COO, an entrepreneur, a photographer, and served in the US Army for six years both stateside and overseas. I enjoy writing, traveling, photography, hiking, and skiing during my free time. Most importantly, I am a proud mother of two amazing daughters and currently reside in Georgia with my husband, Tony.  

AI for Email Tone Prompt Card.pdf
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