From Calling Attention to Claiming My Worth: A Story About Growth, Identity, and Impostor Syndrome
When I was growing up, I loved being the center of attention.
Looking back, it might have looked like confidence, but it was actually a mask. I was timid. I didn’t feel special or "seen," and I carried this quiet fear that if I didn’t demand attention, I would simply disappear.
I dreamed of being a runway model. I loved the art and the defiant posture of it. Despite not having the "model height," I studied, graduated from John Casablancas, and started walking the shows. For a while, the lights felt right. But slowly, a new hunger kicked in. I realized I didn't just want to be seen; I wanted to be heard. I wanted depth, impact, and to use my brain to move needles.
I knew modeling wasn’t my "forever" place. So, I pivoted.
The Decade of Survival
What followed was a ten-year masterclass in resilience. I became a music promoter—loving the purpose but struggling with the pay. To survive, I did everything. I waitressed for a decade. I sold magazine ads. I ran offices, worked in recording studios, hauled at construction sites, and sliced meat in a deli. Along the way, I mastered English and learned Portuguese.
I wasn't just working; I was adapting. I was becoming a "unicorn" before I even knew the word.
Finding the "IT"
My career in channels didn't start until my 30s. It’s ironic—my mother was a computer programmer and my father a computer engineer, yet I spent years running away from the industry. But life has a way of leading you exactly where you need to be.
I worked at my first tech company for 4 years and learned so much—about IT, about channels, about ecosystems and relationships. The world of channels opened something inside me that I didn’t even know I needed. And yet, even then, I felt like I had something to prove. I wasn’t happy. There was politics. I moved on.
From there, my career expanded—channel sales, B2B sales, channel marketing, team leadership. I learned constantly. I grew. I loved it. I had an incredible mentor who helped me see my potential and pushed me to be better. That’s when I began intentionally building my personal brand.
But in tech, the dream can turn into a nightmare overnight.
The Breaking Point
When the industry-wide layoffs hit, I wasn't let go—I was demoted. That "Inside Sales" title felt like a scarlet letter. I felt like I had failed to prove my worth. I left, and for the next nine years, I rode the volatile waves of the tech industry.
Company after company, layoff after layoff.
The confidence I had built began to erode. Even when people called me "amazing," I couldn't hear them over the sound of my own self-doubt. I became desperate. I became pushy. For the last nine years, I’ve moved from company to company trying to “make it” I was fighting so hard to be seen again, just like that little girl, until a realization finally hit me like a bolt of lightning:
I am not the problem.
This isn't personal; it’s business. It’s life.
I realized that impostor syndrome isn't just a "me" thing. It is a systemic weight, especially for women—and even more so for Latina women. In the US tech sector, Latinas make up only about 2% of the workforce. When you are a "minority twice over," the world doesn't always have a blueprint for your success. You have to build it yourself.
What the Struggle Taught Me
Through the pivots and the pain, these are the truths I carry:
- Value Yourself First: No one will see your worth if you are projecting a discount.
- Anchored by Faith: Turning to God doesn't remove the storm, but it gives you an anchor that won't snap.
- The Power of Therapy: Seeking help isn't a weakness; it’s the wisdom to know you shouldn't carry a world this heavy alone.
- Choose Your Soil: You can be the best seed in the world, but you will never grow in toxic or "thin" soil. Be honest about who truly supports you.
- Failure vs. Being a Failure: Growth requires falling. The fall is just a refinement process.
Ready for What’s Next
Today, the mirror looks different. I am not an impostor. I am the sum of every pivot, every loss, and every hard-won lesson.
I am raw. I am real. And I am finally ready.